“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu
We thought we were returning to our home on the Oregon Coast last Saturday. The bags were packed. George had loaded the scooter he’d brought back from Florida onto the back of the jeep. We’d said our good byes to our Colorado friends, and reminded our Oregon friends that we’d be back soon. The dogs could sense something was up and looked at us with expectant, questioning eyes. After being away from Oregon for two months, we were ready to go back, to search for spouting whales again while lunching on veggie burgers at the Adobe.
And then a routine exam on Friday, one day before we were to leave, changed everything. Instead, George will be having some outpatient surgery on Monday the 23rd, and we will be staying in Colorado for another month or so while he recuperates.
Change happens. Plans are never set in stone.
And we learn to flow with it, finding the gifts in the change, most likely after we’ve allowed ourselves the natural and necessary feelings of fear and anger, of depression.
Always, there are gifts.
One of mine, a little but good one, is that a lack of energy caused by the emotional whirlwind of these last few days finally sent me to bed in the middle of the day with my laptop. I didn’t feel able to do any writing of my own so decided instead to read the writing of others. I came across these words:
“Toss your goals list, or at the very least, hide it away until you have the resources to look at it with a fresh perspective,” by Sandi Amorim.
I might not be a very goal-oriented person, but man do I love my goal lists. They make me feel productive even when I’m not.
What a concept! Toss it? At least for the time-being?
I have many goals right now. Finish online classes I’m taking. Continue to write a blog post weekly for the website. Write more. Begin a new project. Organize the house in Oregon. Entertain. Interview some writers I respect for the blog. Lose weight (always). Continue with my French study. Get back to quilting and sewing. Etc., Etc., Etc.
What if I toss the list, as Sandi suggests, at least for now?
What if I only do what I want to do? Love George and the boys. Play with the dogs. Cherish my friends. Soak up the beauty and fragrances of nature. Get rid of all shoulds and expectations of myself and others. Take good care of myself, the dogs … of George.
What it they were my only goals for now? Or for the summer? Or perhaps even for the rest of my life?
It would certainly be a big change for me. Discovering the gifts should be fun — even, perhaps, enlightening.