“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu
We thought we were returning to our home on the Oregon Coast last Saturday. The bags were packed. George had loaded the scooter he’d brought back from Florida onto the back of the jeep. We’d said our good byes to our Colorado friends, and reminded our Oregon friends that we’d be back soon. The dogs could sense something was up and looked at us with expectant, questioning eyes. After being away from Oregon for two months, we were ready to go back, to search for spouting whales again while lunching on veggie burgers at the Adobe.
And then a routine exam on Friday, one day before we were to leave, changed everything. Instead, George will be having some outpatient surgery on Monday the 23rd, and we will be staying in Colorado for another month or so while he recuperates.
Change happens. Plans are never set in stone.
And we learn to flow with it, finding the gifts in the change, most likely after we’ve allowed ourselves the natural and necessary feelings of fear and anger, of depression.
Always, there are gifts.
One of mine, a little but good one, is that a lack of energy caused by the emotional whirlwind of these last few days finally sent me to bed in the middle of the day with my laptop. I didn’t feel able to do any writing of my own so decided instead to read the writing of others. I came across these words:
“Toss your goals list, or at the very least, hide it away until you have the resources to look at it with a fresh perspective,” by Sandi Amorim.
I might not be a very goal-oriented person, but man do I love my goal lists. They make me feel productive even when I’m not.
What a concept! Toss it? At least for the time-being?
I have many goals right now. Finish online classes I’m taking. Continue to write a blog post weekly for the website. Write more. Begin a new project. Organize the house in Oregon. Entertain. Interview some writers I respect for the blog. Lose weight (always). Continue with my French study. Get back to quilting and sewing. Etc., Etc., Etc.
What if I toss the list, as Sandi suggests, at least for now?
What if I only do what I want to do? Love George and the boys. Play with the dogs. Cherish my friends. Soak up the beauty and fragrances of nature. Get rid of all shoulds and expectations of myself and others. Take good care of myself, the dogs … of George.
What it they were my only goals for now? Or for the summer? Or perhaps even for the rest of my life?
It would certainly be a big change for me. Discovering the gifts should be fun — even, perhaps, enlightening.
MAX GLENN says
June 19, 2014 at 1:28 pmLife happens!!!
Best to you and George as you detour from plans….was looking forward to a cup of coffee and will just put that on hold until the time is right and you return to your new community.
Mary Montanye says
June 19, 2014 at 2:38 pmThanks, Max. Looking forward to the coffee and conversation.
Barb says
June 19, 2014 at 1:33 pmI have enjoyed my times the most when my goal has been to have no goals.
So toss the list
Mary Montanye says
June 19, 2014 at 2:39 pmYes! I’ll toss the list. At least temporarily. 🙂
Diane Dallape says
June 19, 2014 at 4:36 pmHi Mary,
When we are searching for answers sometimes the universe provides. I say, do what ever takes the stress away from you. And I love the thought of just focusing on your loved ones. My focus is definately on you as you are one of my loved ones. Diana
Mary Montanye says
June 20, 2014 at 7:15 amThank you, Dear One.
Kitty Wilson-Pote says
June 19, 2014 at 6:38 pmToss it or, better yet, burn the dang thang, Mary, trusty clipboard and all. It is all too easy to draw up a new list anytime, after all, whether by reflex or by design. Hey, time may sweetly, slyly expand and allow for a few of the listables to happen anyhow, as naturally as flowers opening once there are no official items to be checked off even mentally … worth a glorious try, with the best reason in the world to free you!
… hmmm … does this new notion redefine the term ‘listless’ to be a rather desirable state of being, I wonder?
All the utmost best to you, and to George, and to all concerned, going forward, with or without lists.
Mary Montanye says
June 20, 2014 at 7:14 amI absolutely ADORE you, Kit!
Trish says
June 20, 2014 at 7:05 amWhat a concept, throw away the goal list!!! If you have to have a list to be anchored, how about a be list. Be with George, the dogs, the whatever, the next right thing is to be. This list has infinite possibility like being present, trusting, etc. One list says I’ll get what I want, the other says, I’ll handle what I can by being present. Just a thought.
Sorry your trip to the coast is postponed. It still waits with open arms for your return.
Mary Montanye says
June 20, 2014 at 7:14 amLove this, Trish. Yes, a “to be” list. Especially like your take on the difference: one list saying I’ll get what I want and other saying I’ll handle what I can by being present. Yes, that is exactly where I am at the moment: handling what I can by being present.